When I founded Sanu Postpartum Retreat, I knew one thing for certain: I wanted it to be a judgment-free sanctuary for new mothers. The postpartum period is one of the most vulnerable times in a woman’s life, and the last thing a new mother needs is to feel criticized or shamed for her choices. I know this because I’ve lived it.
Seven years ago, when my first son was born, I was determined to breastfeed. I had done my research—I knew all the evidence-based reasons why breastfeeding is beneficial, and I was committed to making it work. But my body had other plans. I struggled to produce enough milk, and getting my son to latch was a nightmare. My experience with a hospital lactation consultant left me feeling inadequate rather than supported. Looking back, I probably could have sought additional help—my insurance likely would have covered it—but at the time, I felt isolated and discouraged.
So, I did what so many mothers do—I pushed through, believing that I had to keep going no matter the cost. I exclusively pumped and supplemented with formula for ten long months. Every pumping session was a grueling “power pump,” tying me to my machine for at least 30 minutes at a time, every few hours. I wish I had known more about correct pump sizing and different brands that could have made the experience easier, but I navigated it alone, learning as I went.
During this time, I also experienced something that I later came to understand as DMER (Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex). Though undiagnosed at the time, I remember feeling an overwhelming wave of sadness and anxiety whenever my milk let down. I didn’t have a name for it then, but I definitely knew I had it with my second child—because I felt it. I’ve since spoken about this experience on podcasts, including Erica Ziel’s How to Navigate Postpartum Challenges and Anxiety and Macie Mincey’s Julia Kim, CEO of Sanu Postpartum Care Retreat. Knowing what I know now, I wish I had more resources and support to recognize and manage these symptoms earlier.
In the middle of that exhausting first year, I was given the opportunity to chair an advisory board to the governor. I was honored, but I was also running on fumes. The two-hour drives to the capital for meetings felt impossible in my sleep-deprived state, but I pushed through. At one meeting, I excused myself to pump in an empty office. I was exhausted, topless, pumping, and half-asleep when someone accidentally walked in on me. That moment was my breaking point—I knew I couldn’t keep going like this. The stress, the exhaustion, and the impossible standard I had set for myself weren’t sustainable.
When my second son was born, I attempted to pump and supplement again, but within days, my husband convinced me to let it go. He could see what I couldn’t at the time—that my mental health mattered. That my ability to function, to be present for my family, and to lead the business I was building mattered. I switched to exclusively formula feeding, and I believe that decision saved my mental health and my productivity. I was back at my desk the Monday after giving birth on a Thursday—and it was a relief not to have the burden of judgment weighing on my mind.
This experience shaped the core philosophy of Sanu. We are here to support, not to judge. Every mother’s journey is different, and every choice is valid. Whether you choose to breastfeed, formula feed, pump, or do some combination of all three, we support you. If you prioritize rest, healing, and bonding with your baby over trying to do it all, we celebrate that. If you need help navigating this new chapter, we provide guidance without guilt.
Motherhood is hard enough without the added weight of judgment. At Sanu, we are here to lift that weight, offering a place where mothers can feel truly supported—no matter what choices they make.
Because at the end of the day, the best choice for you is the one that makes you feel whole, strong, and capable. And that’s exactly what we want for every mother who walks through our doors.
